Man's View on Wedding Dresses

so as you all know, Courtney and I are planning our wedding, picking out stuff, you know the whole marriage traditional stuff. what i have learned, and am willing to share so that you can learn from my mistakes, is that brides dresses are crazy expensive.... i mean freaking stupid expensive. Either that or I am a cheap sob. who knew a dress that your lady is going to wear for maybe 7 hours can easily cost over 4 grand... and for those who want designer names like stella mccartney or vera wang (yeah, i am name dropping), double that order. i would rather someone punch me in the face every hour on the hour for two weeks than spend that kind of money... wake me up in the middle of the night and punch me in the nose. good thing is that courtney has enough sense to not spend that much money on a dress (i hope) ...... but that didn't stop her from trying them on. Rule 1 guys when your lady goes dress shopping, make her promise not to look above your budget. once you go big, there is no going back. there is a reason is costs more, it is nicer. kinda like for us men to go to the car dealer and test drive a ford explorer... the explorer is a good vehicle right? it has the room you want, drives nice, this could be it, this could be my next car....But just for the sake of it, let's walk over to that BMW dealership and see if they are running a sale on the X5's. Man that X5 is hot, look at all that room, the leather, damn i will look good in this, maybe i can negiotitate em down a bit. it costs double the explorer... but damn i will look good in this. PUNCH ME IN THE FACE. Yeah, I want the x5 but i end up walking away thinking about how much money it is and that the explorer is going to be perfect. Girls do not think this way. the chemical balance (or unbalance) does not allow for this type of logical thinking... the brain cannot comprehend. Don't test drive the beamer baby, let's cruise in the explorer. I hope you are getting the analogy here (courtney are you reading this?)
i did some simple math and a relatively moderate dress that costs $2000 is only worn for about 7 hours and then put in a closet never to be seen from again. Not to mention the $400 dry cleaning bill. but 7 hours is 420 minutes. 2000 divided by 420 is $4.76 per minute. don't do the math for a more expensive dress, just punch yourself in the face.
oh yeah, my budget for my wedding suit/tux/outfit/whatever. $120 total.
punch me twice!

the only good thing about the wedding dress is that my lady is going to look so beautiful and i'll never forget how amazing she is.... I'll love her the same, dress or no dress.

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